Leben
by Rina Meunier
Summary: Spock finds himself falling for a young woman. The circumstances of her arrival are still unclear. While forming bonds with some members of the crew, and earning the disapproval of others, she dissuades them from certain stereotypes about her people and provides a different view on the politics of her time.
1. Rescue

**Rescue**

Spock really wished to be elsewhere at the moment. The captain was currently speaking to the president of the planet they were currently visiting to secure mining rights for the federation. Spock had been told to wait in the sitting room where the president's very obnoxious secretary was trying to engage him in small talk.

Her name was Chelsea. She was tanned, about 1.80 meters tall, at least with her enormously high heels, had a very tiny waist that was not at all proportionate to her rather ample bosom. Her dark hair was styled in a way that made Spock wonder how many cans of hairspray she used every day and her obviously fake fingernails were way too long to be practical for a secretary.

Her "clothing" consisted of a very transparent blouse with a low neckline and a skirt that barely covered her bottom. The woman's face was a mask of far too bright and too much make-up and from her uncomfortably close proximity, Spock could smell that she had probably bathed in perfume.

He was considering going to the president's office just to be rid of her when another girl caught his eye. She was standing at the coffee machine, waiting for the device to finish the hot beverage. She was about 1.60 meters tall, had blonde short hair that was secured in a ponytail by a silver hair clip and had rather pale skin. She wore a black shirt that exposed half of her forearms to reveal an old-fashioned wristwatch with a black leather strap. Her dark blue skirt reached the middle of her thighs and was wide and decorated with small cartoony spaceships. A pair of shapely long legs was clad in opaque black tights and knee-high, flat black boots. Small silver earrings glittered in the light.

Apparently Chelsea had noticed her too because she looked the blonde up and down with contempt. "You know, sweetie, if you didn't drink your coffee with so much milk and sugar, you could be much slimmer. And your hair needs a new conditioner, it looks like straw." Spock would never understand women and their need to insult women that they thought to be less attractive. But the girl simply turned away from the machine with a very fake polite smile on her orange-tinted lips and answered in a similarly fake sweet voice: "You know Chelsea, I really should do something about the straw on my head, but I don't think there is a cure for the straw in yours."

Chelsea stared at her colleague and then stormed from the room, foaming with anger. Had he been human, Spock probably would have laughed. The girl shook her head and turned back to the coffee machine. He was about to approach her, when Kirk entered the room. "Good that this is over. Let's get out of here. Such an arrogant idiot, seriously." The girl snorted and hid her grin in her cup. The captain nodded in greeting and left the room. Before Spock followed him to the beam up point, he gave her a look he hoped she understood as being grateful. Apparently she did because he found blueish gray eyes smiling at him over the top of her cup.

* * *

 **Hi everyone. I hope you liked this chapter. Let me know if you want me to continue this story.**


	2. Punctual Like a German Train

**Punctual Like a German Train**

Once again Spock found himself sitting on a stranger's sofa, only this time he was accompanied by the captain and Dr. McCoy, who had been invited to a small house party by a former student and his two roommates. The atmosphere was pleasant, despite the alcohol the humans were drinking. Ricardo, McCoy's acquaintance, was just finishing his third bottle of beer.

"Don't you think you should drink a bit more slowly?" Kirk asked with a grin.

The other man, Clarisso, shrugged and answered for his friend. "You should see what our roomie can drink. She drank us under the table the other day."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "She? You never mentioned you were living with a woman."

Clarisso shrugged again. "It didn't seem important. Besides, Tami is not like those stereotypical girls you see on the street. Sometimes she behaves like a guy."

The second eyebrow went up. "How so?"

"Well, she doesn't gossip, she runs around in sweatpants, often she doesn't even wear make-up if it's not a work day. And she drinks beer, more than we do actually."

"And she is chaotic as hell," Ricardo added. "She also laughs about jokes many women I know would find offensive. She even makes some of those jokes herself."

The three officers looked at each other. McCoy chuckled. "Sounds like she's an interesting girl. Where's she from?"

At that moment the heard the front door open and slam shut, followed by a woman's voice hissing: "Scheiße!"

Ricardo grinned. "Speak of the devil." And then he called: "Hey, Tami! Punctual like a German train."

There was shuffling and when the owner of the voice came in sight, Spock almost couldn't believe his eyes. Tami was the girl from the president's office. She leaned against the door frame with a somewhat annoyed expression on her face. "If you'd ever been to Germany, you would know that our trains are _never_ punctual."

Spock felt Kirk tense slightly beside him. Even though it had been quite a while since the incident with Edith Keeler, he knew his friend still thought about the woman that had to die to save their future. He didn't know how Germans felt about the matter and he was sure that Kirk didn't know either.

Tami also seemed to notice the captain's reaction to her nationality and Spock saw her swallow and then lower her gaze in – was it guilt? And shame? "Are you ok?"

Kirk gave her a forced smile. "Sorry, I just remembered a scene from a history documentary," he lied.

She nodded gravely. "Do you wish to talk about it or would you prefer a change of subject?"

The captain looked slightly taken aback, but then gave her a more genuine smile. "A change of subject would be nice. So, Tami, we've heard you can drink quite a lot of beer."

Tami snorted. "That's not beer, that's water."

"No, you are just a spoiled brat," replied Clarisso teasingly.

The girl shrugged and gave them a cheeky smile. "I'm Bavarian, what can I say. You've just never tried the good stuff."

McCoy returned the smile. "I guess we'll have to try it at the next opportunity. Right, Jim?"

Kirk grinned as well, back in the party spirit. "Absolutely, Bones."

"Then you are in luck, Gentlemen. There is a store here that actually sells my personal favorite. Imported all the way from earth. " She disappeared in the hallway and quickly returned with an entire crate of brown glass bottles. Spock counted twenty half-liter bottles. "From Munich, since 1328."

She placed the crate next to the coffee table and handed everyone a bottle. When she reached Spock, she hesitated. "I've read somewhere that Vulcans don't drink alcohol, even though it doesn't intoxicate them. Should I bring you a glass of water or maybe a cup of tea?"

Spock was pleased that this human girl would take his preferences into account. "That is kind of you, but I have to admit that you have made me curious."

Strangely, her bright smile pleased him even more. He would have to meditate on that. He accepted the bottle of refrigerated beer from her and the bottle opener from Kirk, removed the crown cap and took a cautious sip, aware that everyone in the room was watching him. A mildly bitter, but not at all unpleasant taste flooded his senses and he had to agree with Tami that this was "good stuff". "It is mild and definitely not unpleasant."

He had seen humans misinterpret his answers on several occasions, but Tami understood what he meant and gave him another smile before sitting down on the sofa next to him, with enough distance between them, so they weren't touching. She really had researched Vulcan preferences beforehand.

"You called yourself Bavarian, Tami. Is there a difference between Bavarians and other Germans?" Kirk asked.

Tami laughed and nodded. "There sure is. You have to know that Germans often identify with the region they come from other than the whole country. There are also quite a number of stereotypes between Germans. For example, Bavarians usually refer to people from parts of Germany that lie further north as "Preißn" which literally means "Prussians". They also consider them to be rude, stiff and humorless, so essentially the stereotypical German. The rest of Germany usually thinks of Bavarians as highly conservative country bumpkins that consider electricity to be witchcraft, only feed on Leberkas and beer, only wear lederhosen and dirndl and tell dirty jokes all the time."

Her description was met with laughter from everyone except Spock. "Sorry," McCoy panted. "But that mental image is just too funny."

"It is pretty funny," agreed Kirk. "But one thing. Leberkas?"

Tami giggled. "Sorry. Leberkas or Leberkäse is a south German specialty food that consists of finely minced meet that is baked as a loaf until it has a brown crust."*

"And is the stereotype true?"

"In some areas of Bavaria it might," she replied jokingly.

"Ok, Tami. Now you need to tell a sexist joke," Ricardo requested. "We told them that you didn't mind them."

Tami blew a strand of dark-blonde hair out of her face. "I can't really think of one that wouldn't get lost in translation. Well, one comes to my mind, but it's pretty old and does only concern a certain type of women."

Kirk raised his eyebrows. "Do tell."

She sighed. "What's a blonde that dyed her hair black?"

The men looked at each other. "What is the answer?" asked Spock.

"Artificial intelligence," Tami answered dryly.

This earned a few more chuckles and a raised eyebrow from Spock.

All in all, Spock had to admit, it had been a pleasant evening. Tami was a quite… interesting woman.

"Well," McCoy said once they were back on the ship. "A German with a sense of humor. Who would have guessed?"

"Indeed." And one that could laugh and make fun of herself. While human humor sometimes escaped him, he found that ability to be quite… likable.

* * *

* **Definition borrowed from Wikipedia**

 **I hope you liked it. Your reviews were appreciated.**


	3. Man sieht sich immer zweimal im Leben

**Here is a new chapter. Enjoy and review.**

* * *

 **Man sieht sich immer zweimal im Leben – Oder auch öfter**

McCoy's office was silent. Kirk had just briefed his two friends about a message from the Admiralty and they were not sure what to make of it. It was the doctor who broke the silence. "I would never have guessed that she was not from our time. She's such a modern woman. She didn't even seem to consider Spock a curiosity."

"Maybe we just don't give the people of the 21st century enough credit," responded Kirk, deep in thought. "But I don't like the idea of her being on this ship only for our historians to study her."

"Yes, after all, she is a human being and not a lab specimen," agreed Spock.

Kirk smiled. "Good that we are on the same page, Gentlemen." He looked down. "I think I owe her an apology. She looked very uncomfortable. I didn't mean to offend her."

"I'm pretty sure you didn't, Jim. She seemed to understand your reaction."

"Maybe, Bones, but it just isn't fair to judge people by the history of their country. Especially if they are as open-minded as Tami seemed to be."

"I also do not believe you offended her, but if you decide to apologize, I am certain she will accept it."

"Anyway, what do we know about her?"

Spock consulted his PADD. "Tamara K. Pfaff, born on July 13th 1994 in Burghausen, Germany. She started school on September 11th 2001 and graduated high school in 2013. Afterwards she spent two years at a language school which she graduated from as third best of her class with an award from the Bavarian government. The same year, she started studying translating and interpreting in Munich, spent her third semester in Spain and later was reported to have died at the age of 22 in Dresden, Saxony."

"And then frozen so that she could be revived when it was medically possible to fix her," McCoy added. "But I can't help wondering what happened to her. How does a young woman manage to get beaten up so bad that she dies from her injuries? And who does something like that?"

"Unknown, Doctor. She claims not to remember anything."

"Why is that?"

"Well, Jim. The amnesia was caused partly by her head injuries and partly because her subconscious has locked those memories away."

Kirk nodded gravely. "Alright. Let's just make her feel welcome"

Spock nodded. He had already done cultural research. She had apparently done the same to accommodate a Vulcan guest. It was only fair to return the favor. He wanted her to be comfortable. Even he didn't know exactly why he cared so much.

oOoOo

The next time Spock saw Tami, he almost didn't recognize her. On both past occasions, she had been a confident young woman. The way she now stood on the platform in the transporter room, clutching a black and white backpack to her chest and a shaking hand, clad in a turquoise leather glove, clinging to a large blue suitcase, screamed insecurity. She was wearing dark-blue jeans tucked into black boots and a black leather jacket. Her hair was hidden under a black woolen cap and a silver scarf hid the lower half of her face. She looked like a small child that had gotten separated from her parents. He exchanged a worried look with McCoy.

"Welcome aboard, Tami. It is nice to see you again," Kirk greeted her with an encouraging smile. "McCoy will examine you and then you will be shown to your quarters where you can unpack and rest. You look… tired."

Spock, who had stepped up on the transporter to help Tami with her luggage, could only find that to be a huge understatement. She was unhealthily pale. Those normally so vibrant eyes were puffy and had dark circles under them. Tami nodded her thanks to him and then answered in a quiet voice. "Yes, Sir."

"Jim, you go back to the bridge, I'll take care of her examination and Spock can escort her to her room afterwards."

Kirk hesitated, then nodded in agreement and left. Spock took the handle of the suit case and gestured to the backpack. "May I? I will take your things to your quarters and pick you up at sickbay afterwards."

Tami handed it to him. "Please be careful. My laptop is in there."

"Do not worry. Nothing will happen to it," Spock assured her gently.

While McCoy led the distraught girl to sickbay, Spock went to the assigned cabin and carefully put down Tami's things next to the bed. He examined the backpack more closely. The black and white pattern on the front was somewhat hypnotic when looking at it a bit longer. Two keychains were dangling from the zippers. The first was a tuft of white fur, the second was a small stuffed bat the size of his palm. It was a bit childish, but also endearing.

In a compartment on the side he saw a foldable umbrella, dark blue with white stars, and a half empty bottle of water. He was curious about the bag's contents, about the mentioned laptop, but he wanted to respect her privacy. So he turned and left for sickbay.

Tami sat on a bed and McCoy was just putting away his tricorder. "Severe sleep deprivation, but other than that you're physically healthy. Your injuries are healed, only your amnesia troubles me."

Spock stepped closer to the girl and asked: "How much do you remember?"

Tami looked up at him, and then concentrated. "Shortly after I had returned from Spain, my friend Eli and I went to Dresden to take part in a counter protest. We wanted to go back to Bavaria the next day so after the protest we wanted to have a movie night in our hotel room. I remember discussing what snacks and drinks we wanted, I even remember the exact shopping list. Gummy bears, chips, coke, lemonade, beer and some Italian herb liqueur. I remember buying all those things and leaving the store, but afterwards," she shrugged. "Nothing. Only darkness."

"Against what were you protesting?" Spock probed.

Tami sighed heavily. "A movement called Pegida. Patriotic Europeans against the Islamization of the west." She looked at their confused faces. "A bunch of xenophobic idiots that feel threatened by the five percent of our population that are Muslims and the one million refugees Germany has taken in during the refugee crisis caused by the war in the Middle East among other things. The movement was founded by a convicted drug dealer that once fled from the authorities to Africa and now wants to 'protect' the country from criminal migrants. They protest every Monday in Dresden and some of them set refugee shelters on fire and beat up people that look like they could be foreigners." She swallowed. "We were fed up with them abusing everything our flag, our anthem and the sentence 'we are the people' stand for. They are not. They are a very loud minority, but they don't represent the opinion of the German people. But I'm just a 'leftist, anti-German rat and a traitor that will see what she gets from her naivety towards all those strangers'."

McCoy stared at her. "You've seriously been called that?"

She shrugged. "Among other things. I don't expect much from people that take their vocabulary from Goebbels's language guide for neo-Nazi trainees or something."

Spock and McCoy looked at each other, then Spock asked: "Is she ready to be released, Doctor?"

"Yes, I gave her something to help her sleep. Make sure she lies down and stay with her until she falls asleep. You are free, right?"

Spock nodded. "I am currently off duty and I will do as you ask." He helped Tami down from the bed and guided the dazed woman to her room where she changed into a pair of blue pajamas and crawled under the blanket. He took a chair and sat down next to the bed.

She looked at him and gave him a tired but no less warm smile. "Thanks, Commander. If you're interested, we could go over the stuff on my computer once I'm better rested. I can barely keep my eyes open."

Spock regarded her with a soft look in his eyes. "I would be pleased to do so. But now you should sleep."

She nodded weakly, her eyes closed slowly and she was soon snoring softly. He looked at her for a while before he got up. He adjusted the covers slightly and with one last look left her to her hopefully pleasant dreams.


	4. Breakfast

**Breakfast**

She opened her eyes slowly and took in the unfamiliar surroundings. Tami sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. The events of last night came back to her. She sighed. She hadn't even had a chance to socialize down on the planet. She had only lived and worked there for a few weeks and now she had to start anew. And everyone knew she wasn't from this century. Just great. She would never be able to have a normal life.

Commander Spock. He most certainly was quite cute. Was it right to be interested in men so soon after everything she had had with her first love had ended? Had her boyfriend managed to get over her death? Had her family and friends? So far, she hadn't had the courage to research that.

What was it with that Vulcan? She had read all that was available in a language she understood. All sources said they were cold and unfeeling and yet his eyes had given her a different impression. Many people mistook reserved behavior and directness for rudeness and coldness. It was a common cultural misunderstanding.

She got up and dressed. Time to do her hair and make-up and get some breakfast.

* * *

Tami put down her mascara and started to brush her hair and tie it into a ponytail. She was wearing in-ear headphones and singing along to a children's song. "Meine Oma fährt im Hühnerstall Motorrad, Motorrad, Motorrad

Meine Oma fährt im Hühnerstall Motorrad  
Meine Oma ist 'ne ganz patente Frau…"

She brushed her fingers through her bangs to mess them up slightly. "Meine Oma hat 'nen Bandwurm der gibt Pfötchen, gibt Pfötchen, gibt Pfötchen  
Meine Oma hat 'nen Bandwurm der gibt Pfötchen  
Meine Oma ist 'ne ganz bekannte Frau."

She wanted to continue when she heard someone clear their throat. She spun around startled to see no one else but Commander Spock standing in the doorway. She quickly removed the headphones and looked at him wide-eyed. She gave him a sheepish smile. "How long have you been standing there?"

He crossed his arms over his chest with a raised eyebrow. Was it amusement she saw in his chocolate brown eyes or was it a trick of the light? "When you did not answer the door I became concerned so I entered. The bathroom door was open and I heard your voice." He tilted his head slightly. "What was that song you sang?"

She grimaced. "I'm not sure you could call it singing what I just did, but to answer your question, it was a children's song we used to sing in kindergarten. Please don't ask about the lyrics, they are incredibly stupid."

This time she certainly saw his lip twitch ever so slightly. "That is to be expected of a human children's song." He eyed her outfit. "Should I give you privacy to dress?"

She looked down at her red bathrobe. "Oh no, I'm already dressed. I just put this on to avoid smearing make-up on my clothes."

She unfastened the robe and shrugged it off her shoulders to reveal a skintight black long-sleeved shirt with a low neckline that was kept closed by lacing as not to show too much of her cleavage. The shirt was tucked into a dark blue jeans miniskirt with a high waistband. Her legs were clad in a pair of black opaque tights. Her jewelry consisted of small silver earrings and her wristwatch.

She cast one last look into the mirror to check her eyeliner and then went past the Vulcan to put on her boots. When she looked back at him she thought she saw him quickly return his gaze to her face. She ginned inwardly. Men were men, no matter the species. She favored him with what she hoped was a flirtatious look. "Do you approve, Commander?"

He seemed to swallow and consider his words. "Your attire is… quite acceptable."

She smiled shyly. "Thank you."

He nodded. He hesitated for a moment before reaching into his pocket and taking out a small blue disk. At her puzzled expression he elaborated: "I took the liberty of researching popular breakfast foods in Germany and I hope I found something to your liking."

She gazed up at him, too stunned and touched to speak. Instead she smiled slightly in thanks. He seemed to relax somewhat. He handed her the disk and gestured towards the door. "Shall we go?"

She regained her voice. "We shall."

They walked down the hallway side by side. Tami stole a glance at the commander. He seemed quite comfortable with their proximity. She was almost close enough to link her arm through his. She shook her head mentally. Vulcans didn't like physical contact. And since when did she consider touching a complete stranger?

They entered the mess and got their food. She smiled brightly when she saw what he had chosen for her. A boiled egg, a bread roll, a pretzel and a generous amount of butter and strawberry jam, together with a cup of coffee with milk and sugar.

"You appear to be pleased," she heard his pleasantly deep voice as they sat down. She inhaled the smell of her coffee. "I'm more than pleased. You nailed my breakfast habits exactly. How did you know that I liked those things?"

He hesitated again. "Your autopsy report states that this was your breakfast the day you died."

She blinked a few times, but nodded. "That makes sense, I guess." She kept her tone light. He shouldn't think he made her uncomfortable. In truth, he hadn't really. She had come to terms with her death. Her missing memories bothered her even if she didn't know if she wanted to remember.

"I think I already managed to tick off your head nurse." She changed the subject.

He raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

She took a bite of her pretzel. "She tried to talk to me yesterday during the examination. I made it clear to her that small talk is not really something Germans engage in and that I would prefer it if she would just do her job and leave me alone." She smiled sheepishly. "Maybe I should have been a bit less blunt."

His lip seemed to twitch. "Honesty is always a most laudable trait."

Tami snorted. "Still, maybe I should apologize."

"I do not believe that to be necessary. You were not in the best mental state yesterday. Short temper is a normal human reaction to sleep deprivation."

She bit her lip and looked down. "I guess so."

The Vulcan reached out and softly touched her arm. She looked up at him in surprise. The look in his eyes was gentle and reassuring. "I am certain that Nurse Chapel understands your reasons for snapping at her. Do not worry."

She looked at his slender hand on her forearm and nodded with a small smile. "Okay."

He removed his hand slowly. "You should finish your meal. Do you have any plans afterwards?"

She shook her head. "No, but I thought we could go over the stuff on my computer. If you are free…"

He nodded. "I am off duty until late this evening. I would be pleased to join you."

She looked at him with a bright and happy smile before quickly lowering her gaze and biting her lip. Was she supposed to be so happy about his continued company? She liked him, even if she didn't really know him. Considering the way he acted towards her, she suspected that it was mutual. She didn't want to assume. Maybe he was just curious about her time and the data on her hard drive.

They finished eating in silence, before he accompanied her back to her room. She opened her backpack and pulled out her laptop. She placed it in front of them on the desk. The commander raised an eyebrow at the red sticker reading "Refugees welcome". She felt her cheeks reddening. "Something from a protest in Munich. We were 6,000 people there, despite the rain." She chuckled. "I had the hell of a cold afterwards and Eli found out her backpack wasn't water-resistant."

"That is quite a number of people in that kind of weather."

She shrugged. "We had umbrellas. Besides, we live so close to the mountains that we are used to snow in mid-October. It can rain at any time and most catch a cold every year. I suppose we are used to it. We also wanted to make a statement."

The Vulcan nodded. "You are quite determined against racism."

She shrugged, a bit embarrassed. "I suppose. It's just that racism and exaggerated nationalism have never done any good, especially not in Germany. Despite everything that has happened, even the things done by migrants and refugees, shouldn't cause us to hate all of them. Maybe I am a bit naïve, but there are bad people everywhere. I refuse to hate them or to be too afraid to live my life."

She sighed. "Anyway. I've got a few photos, if you want."

He nodded. Together they went through old homework assignments, papers and photographs. Photos of birthday parties, friends, her boyfriend, family and places. Munich, Frankfurt, Berlin, her hometown, Starnberg Lake, the town of Altötting and Burghausen Castle.

"Did you know it is the longest castle complex in the world? 1051 meters."

"I came across it when reading about world records, but I never found it necessary to research the town itself."

She smiled. "I was born there, although we lived in Altötting at the time. We moved to a small village nearby when I was a little girl. Good thing, too. We had quite charming neighbors."

His eyebrow went up. "Your use of sarcasm tells me that you mean the exact opposite."

She giggled. "Yeah, well our downstairs neighbor once actually banged a broomstick against her ceiling because my brother and I were too loud. I was just a baby, sorry I couldn't discuss with my mother why I wanted a new diaper. That woman also had six kids. She should know that that can be loud. We have a saying: "Jesus told us to love our neighbors like ourselves. He wouldn't have said that had he known my neighbors."

The second eyebrow went up, causing Tami to really laugh in what felt like the first time since forever. She could have sworn he was smiling at her with his eyes.

* * *

 **Hope you liked it. If you have suggestions for activities they could do together or other things, let me know.**

 **The song Tami sings is called "Meine Oma faehrt im Huehnerstall Motorrad". If you want to know what it sounds like, enter this on YouTube.**

 **The translation of the song:**

 **1.** **Meine Oma fährt im Hühnerstall Motorrad...**

 **Meine Oma ist 'ne ganz patente Frau.**

 **My grandma rides her motorcycle in the chicken shed...**

 **My grandma is truly a smart woman.**

 **2\. Meine Oma hat 'nen Bandwurm der gibt Pfötchen...**

 **Meine Oma ist 'ne ganz bekannte Frau.**

 **My grandma has a tapeworm that can give paw...**

 **My grandma is a well-known woman.**


	5. Memories

**Memories**

A few weeks had passed since Tami's arrival on board. While she still didn't seem to get along with Nurse Chapel, she had formed a friendship with Lieutenant Uhura. The two women were often seen together and Spock recognized the language spoken between them as German.

"You know, Tami, you barely speak any dialect," Uhura remarked.

Tami smiled sheepishly. "My mother insisted I learn how to speak High German. I'm actually more fluent in English than in Bavarian. It takes me some effort to speak it apart from the few words I never say in German. Besides, no one outside of Bavaria would understand me if I spoke dialect."

Spock leaned a bit closer across the table. "High German is some sort of compromise between the different dialects to facilitate communication?"

Tami smiled and nodded. "Exactly."

Uhura sighed. "German has so many dialects. I have trouble understanding people if they speak only dialect."

"We could watch something together and I could translate. I know some nice Bavarian comedy."

Uhura beamed. "That'd be great! Thanks, Tami. Du bist echt ein Engel."

Spock had no idea what the last statement meant, but Uhura's excited and happy tone did not explain Tami's reaction. The easy smile on her lips vanished, her eyes widened and her hand clenched the edge of the table. She grew pale and started shaking.

Spock took hold of the girl's shoulder and shook her gently. "What did you say to her?"

Uhura stared at them in shock. "I just told her she was an angel. I don't know what's wrong."

Spock turned his attention back to Tami. "Tamara, do you hear me? What is the matter?"

Tami still didn't respond and started taking quick and shallow breaths. She was having a panic attack. Spock took her other shoulder. "Whatever you are experiencing, it is not real. Snap out of it. Do you hear me? Tami?"

Tami blinked rapidly. "Ich… I mean… I… what?"

"You appeared to have a panic attack," he told her gently. "Are you alright?"

"I suppose so."

Uhura looked stricken. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

Tami shook her head. "It wasn't you. I just had some sort of flashback. A memory from that night in Dresden I thought I had forgotten."

"What did you see?" Spock implored.

Their eyes met and suddenly it was as if there was nobody else in the room with them. "On my way to the store, I saw that homeless man on the street. It was so cold and I felt sorry for him. But I didn't wish to give him money because they often spend it on alcohol. So I bought him water, a sandwich and a cup of coffee. When I gave it to him on my way back to the hotel, he took my hand and said the same words Uhura just used."

Uhura gazed at Spock's hands still holding Tami's shoulders and smiled knowingly. "Should I get Dr. McCoy?"

"No, it's fine. I think I'll just get back to my room." Spock released her as she stood up. "I shall inform the doctor and the captain about this development. Do you require company or do you wish to rest?"

She smiled slightly. "You're welcome to visit once you are done. See you. Bye, Uhura."

"Bye, Tami."

She left the recreation room. Uhura looked at Spock. "You like her, don't you?"

Spock raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. "I do not know what you mean."

"You called her Tami. That is unusual for you, Commander."

Spock considered. He had called her by her nickname. He had never done so. Spock rose, wanting to get away from the discussion. "I do not recall." And then he left. Uhura shook her head. And they said Vulcans couldn't lie.

* * *

After reporting Tami's flashback to the doctor and the captain, Spock was walking down the corridor with Jim. "So, are you gonna visit her?"

"That was my intention, Captain."

Kirk grinned. "You really like her, don't you?"

Spock was taken aback. Was it that obvious? "I do not know…"

Kirk stopped and held up his hand. "Stop right there, Spock. We're friends, aren't we? You don't have to hide it from me. There is nothing wrong about liking a girl."

Spock nearly sighed. "She is… interesting. And I find myself… concerned for her wellbeing."

"Have you told her that?"

"Vulcans do not speak about such matters. And Germans build their relationships slowly. I wish to get to know her better first and I am certain that this is her preference as well."

Kirk nodded as they reached Spock's destination. "Good luck then, Spock."

Spock titled his head in acknowledgement before making the young woman aware of his presence. "Come in."

"Hello, Commander." She lay on her bed, looking at the screen of the entertainment system.

"Greetings." He looked at the screen. It showed a man on a stage in some sort of live performance.

"He's a comedian from Bavaria. I needed some sort of distraction. Wanna join me? I can translate where it is possible."

Spock took a seat on the chair that was still standing next to her bed. "What is he currently talking about?"

"Jehovah's Witnesses. You know, those people that believe the world is coming to an end and that they are the only ones god will safe?"

"I may have heard about this religious group."

"They ring doorbells to try to talk people into joining them. It annoys many people I know. Well, thanks to my brother they never did so again."

Up went an eyebrow. "What did he do?"

"He invited them in and discussed Kant, Darwin and Marx with them."

His lip twitched. "He was not particularly religious?"

She laughed. "He was a convinced atheist."

"What about you?"

"I'm officially Catholic like most Bavarians. Baptized a few months after my birth. I don't care much about religion. God may or may not exist. I don't care either way. I don't want to live according to rules some people wrote down 2000 years ago. Twelve years of Religious Education at school and being an altar server for years has been more than sufficient to know that I'm not a fan of the church."

"You have religion as a school subject?"

She nodded. "In Bavaria you get automatically put into Catholic or Protestant RE, depending on your official religion. If you're neither, you have ethics class. I should have switched. I only had one teacher that allowed us to make our own interpretations of the Bible. And my teacher in sixth grade told us so many horror stories about unwanted pregnancy and abortion that I had nightmares afterwards and a nervous breakdown. I ran to my parents crying and asked them what would happen if that ever happened to me." She looked up at him. "I was eleven years old, had never heard a thing about sex ed and boys were those noisy, annoying idiots that could never behave."

He returned her gaze with mild concern. "It is not a teacher's job to traumatize their students."

She gave a humorless snort. "No, but I'll live. Don't worry."

He apparently did not look convinced because she reached out and carefully patted his sleeve. "Wanna see how this guy drove away two Jehovah's Witnesses that rang his doorbell at 8 am on a Saturday when he wished to sleep?"

Spock leaned back expectantly. "Resume the program."

* * *

 **Sorry I took so long. I hope you liked it. I'd appreciate your opinion and suggestions. Writer's block and stuff.**


	6. Dance

**Dance**

The Enterprise was docked at star base 89 for refit. The base had only recently been completed and they were just in time for the official opening festivities. The senior crew had been asked to attend a ball, preferably in the company of a dance partner. Spock was aware that there were many women on board interested in being his 'date'. But he also knew that he was only interested in one woman.

He hesitated at her door, unsure if she was already sleeping. He signaled his presence. "Who's there?" came Tami's voice over the intercom. "Commander Spock. I can return tomorrow if I would disturb you."

The door swished open. "You won't disturb me. I'm already in bed, but I wasn't sleeping." Tami said from the bedroom. Spock paused. Was she lisping? He slowly stepped closer. Tami lay in bed, her head supported by a pile of pillows with a book in her hand. He stopped short. The blanket was wrapped around her chest, revealing only the lace-covered straps of her black top. Her face was clean of make-up, but what caught his attention was her hair. A few of strands framed her face and brushed her bare shoulders. The rest was sprawled across the pillow like a golden halo. She sat up and adjusted the blanket. Her palms, wrists and a part of her forearms were clad in knitted arm warmers. "What can I do for you?"

She was definitely lisping, he noted with slight amusement. Despite his efforts to hide it, she seemed to notice it. "My dentist prescribed me a biteguard because my tense jaw muscles caused severe headaches." She blushed slightly and got out of bed, revealing the rest of the lacy top and a pair of wide black trousers. "I'll take it out."

He stopped her by gently taking hold of her wrist. "That will not be necessary. I can understand you perfectly." He studied the white, blue and grey stripes of the arm warmers. "What are these for?"

She avoided his eyes. "Carpal tunnel syndrome. My wrists hurt less if they are kept warm."

He became concerned. "Does it hurt much?"

She shook her head. "No, only a bit. My fingertips are slightly numb, but it's fine. I'm used to it."

"Have you considered surgery?"

"No, I… I guess I still haven't adjusted to this century. Back where I'm from surgery didn't sound very appealing. And I couldn't just be out for several weeks. Someone needed to take care of the house. My mother had three jobs, my stepfather never did anything after work and my brother was a domestic disaster." She sighed. "But that's not why you are here."

Spock suppressed his nervousness. "You are aware of the opening ball of star base 89?"

"Yes, Uhura wanted me to accompany her today to pick out her gown."

He cleared his throat. "I wished to ask if you wished to attend with me."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "You want me as your dance partner?"

He could barely keep himself from fidgeting. "Yes, I would be pleased if you chose to accompany me."

She gaped at him, then smiled sheepishly. "It would be my pleasure. It's just… prom was more than three years ago. My dancing skills are somewhat rusty."

Spock barely refrained from sighing. "We still have three days to practice."

"You'd teach me? Great." She giggled. "I warn you, I'm horrible."

He raised an eyebrow, his gaze warm and slightly amused. "I accept the challenge."

She grinned. "There is so much to be planned. I need a dress. I need to do something with my hair and make-up. Oh dear, it will be some work."

Spock hesitated again. "May I make a suggestion?"

"Sure."

"You should wear your hair open. It looks… pleasing on you."

She brushed her hair behind her right ear. "Will do, Commander. Thank you."

He looked into her bright eyes. "My name is Spock. The title is no longer necessary."

She smiled once more. "Gladly, Spock." She yawned. "I should sleep now. See you tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Of course. Sleep well… Tami."

The image of her smile accompanied him to his room.

* * *

Upon hearing about Tami's participation, Uhura insisted on taking her shopping on the star base. It had been equipped with large shopping facilities in the style of Tami's century. Spock had no idea why he agreed to accompany the two women. Probably curiosity about what kind of gown Tami would choose.

"First I want to get the dress, then shoes and then maybe look for jewelry. It all depends on the gown," Tami explained. Spock was pleasantly surprised. Tami seemed to be a very organized shopper.

"What about a handbag? You only have one and it's not suitable for this," Uhura said.

Tami looked at the black bag dangling at her hip. It had a large silver star printed on the front. "You're right, but I'd like to match the bag with the shoes."

They entered a store for formal wear. Spock watched the two looking at several gowns before Tami found something to her liking. "It should be the right size," she explained while gazing intently at the sky blue fabric.

"What are you waiting for?" Uhura pushed the blonde into a dressing room and pulled the curtain closed. "Try it on."

Spock exchanged a glance with his colleague. "It has the perfect color, don't you agree, sir?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "It suits her." And it would certainly match his dress uniform.

"Ehm, could someone help me with the back closure?" came an uncertain voice from behind the curtain. Uhura quickly joined Tami. Spock heard her emit an exited squeal. "This is perfect. Absolutely amazing. Gosh, you're so pretty."

The curtain was pulled back and Tami followed Uhura out of the room, her eyes glued to the floor and her cheeks flushed.

Spock held his breath. The gown had a layered, ruffled, floor-length skirt and a tight bodice with a v-neckline decorated with silver beads. The dress had no sleeves, only cap straps. The straps and the upper layer of the skirt were ornamented with sequins. He was at a loss for words.

"What do you think?" Tami asked him shyly. Spock took her hand and spun her around. "This is… highly acceptable."

She brushed her hair behind her ears and smiled. "Thanks."

After the purchase had been made, Tami acquired a pair of earrings that resembled silver, sparkling angel wings and a silver rhinestone bracelet. The women wanted to get to last two items on the list, but Spock had something else in mind. "I will return to the ship. I will see you tonight, Tami."

She nodded. "I look forward to it. See you later. Thanks again for teaching me."

Spock nodded and waited until they had disappeared around a corner before returning to the jewelry store. There was a piece that had caught his attention. It reminded him of a particular pair of eyes.

* * *

Spock chose the appropriate music before clasping one of Tami's hands in his and placing the other on her waist, mental shields firmly in place. Her hand hesitantly moved to his shoulder. Her newly bought white pumps made her slightly taller, even if it was only nine centimeters. He started leading her through the steps and she followed carefully.

After some time her eyes moved from their feet to his eyes. It was illogical, but he lost himself in the music and the depth of her eyes. That is, until she stumbled and her head collided forcefully with his chest. "Ow, Scheiße verdammt."

He tilted her head up. "Are you alright?"

She rubbed her forehead. "I guess so. Sorry. I told you I'm horrible."

"You are not horrible, just unpracticed. Accidents happen."

She gazed up at him through blackened lashes. "Are you ok?"

"Quite. Do not worry."

She placed a hand on his chest, running her thumb over the fabric of his uniform. When she realized what she was doing, she took her hand away as if burned. "Sorry."

He took her hands and moved them back to their proper position before placing his on her waist again. "It is quite alright. Let us continue with the lesson. Computer, replay music." And they continued.

* * *

 **Up next: the ball**


	7. Will You Be Mine?

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my friend Eli, who has helped me a lot with this story, even though she is not a Trekkie.**

* * *

 **Will You Be Mine?**

The day before the ball after dance practice, Spock and Tami were taking a walk through the ship. There had been no further accidents, much to Spock's disappointment. Having her pressed against him this closely had been quite satisfactory.

Tami was currently telling him about her time in Spain. "I think you only notice how much you behave a culturally typical way once you're outside that culture."

"Were you behaving so typically German?"

Tami laughed. "I guess. Things like: Only cross the road on a green light. Don't walk in the bicycle lane. Be punctual. And in terms of efficiency it was maddening sometimes. But it was somewhat relaxing to have the line go through half the supermarket and nobody complaining or being annoyed. That wouldn't work in Germany. People are too impatient there. And people make assumptions based on what they think they know."

Spock nodded. That sounded familiar. "Such as?"

"For instance, when sitting in a bar, everyone thought I had ordered beer. Or a friend told me that she was asked out for a beer by some guy and when she replied that she didn't like beer, he actually said: 'Then you're not a real German.'"

"I suppose you should never make assumptions based on stereotypes. What would be a German's response to the confession of not liking beer?"

Tami shrugged. "They'd say: 'Well, then drink something else.' Nobody's forced to drink alcohol. My brother never liked it. But when I told friends in Spain how much I could drink, they looked surprised. Five bottles of beer in one night is not that much."

He raised an eyebrow in astonishment. "You are aware that the beer you served us at your former flat had an alcohol content of 5.2 percent?"

She grinned sheepishly. "Of course. That was my preferred brand and variety." She blushed slightly. "I hope you don't think too badly of me now."

Spock suppressed a smile. "Quite the contrary. You seem to know exactly how much you can drink. I cannot condemn you for something many humans engage in with less control over themselves."

She rolled her eyes. "You have no idea. Sharing a train carriage with a bunch of drunk Oktoberfest visitors is annoying at best. And getting yourself obnoxiously drunk is actually severely frowned upon in Bavaria."

"Is it that bad during the Oktoberfest?"

"Some people just get pretty irritating when intoxicated. Not to mention that you need to watch where you're going if you don't want to step into someone's rejected stomach contents. Quite a few of the locals avoid the city all together at this time of the year." She gave him a teasing smirk. "Are you worried that I'll drink too much tomorrow?"

He cleared his throat. "Not at all. I am quite confident in your ability to control yourself and your alcohol intake."

She giggled. "I am honored by your trust in me." They arrived at her door. "So, I'll see you tomorrow for the event, all dolled up and ready to go?"

Spock fidgeted unnoticeably. "Whatever your definition of "dolled up" is, but otherwise yes. I shall pick you up here at 1700 hours to accompany you to the location."

She smiled shyly at him while playing with a loose strand of hair. "Alright. Night, Spock."

"Good night," he replied before she disappeared through the doors of her room.

* * *

Spock took a deep breath before announcing his presence. He could not keep his mind from wandering to the day in the store. She had looked beautiful in that gown. And the first time he had seen her wear her hair open, he had been tempted to run his hands through the blond locks.

The doors slid open, revealing Tami. His breath caught. Beside the gown and the newly purchased jewelry, she wore her hair curled. Professionally applied eyeshadow in blue, white and silver, thin black eyeliner and thick and long black eyelashes made her eyes virtually glow. She wore the same orange-tinted lip gloss as on the day they first met. "Spock? Is something wrong?"

He snapped out of his trance to see her looking at him with concern. "No, everything is alright. You look…" he struggled to find an appropriate term.

"Highly acceptable?" she asked teasingly. "Thanks. You look great, too."

He inclined his head in thanks, then stood straight and held out his arm. "Shall we depart?"

She seemed to hesitate for a moment and he could almost see the mental shrug before she placed the strap of her white handbag over her shoulder and linked her arm through his.

They arrived at the meeting point to see the captain, Lieutenant Uhura, the doctor, Nurse Chapel and Mr. Scott with a woman Spock recognized as one of his engineers. "Tami, you look stunning," Kirk said with an appreciative smile.

"Amazing, really," agreed McCoy. Uhura and Scott nodded while Chapel looked somewhat sour. Spock suspected it was because he had asked Tami out. He was aware of the nurse's feelings for him, but as they weren't mutual, there was no reason for him not to go out with another woman.

Tami lowered her eyes. "Thank you."

They entered the brightly lit and decorated ballroom. It was equipped with a huge buffet that offered a broad variety of dishes from all over the galaxy and a bar. Spock was pleased to note that there were also non-alcoholic beverages available.

He took two glasses from a nearby waiter for the opening toast before the first dance. His was filled with orange juice while Tami's also contained sparkling wine. She took the glass with a smile and they listened to the welcome speech. She had not even let go of his arm.

"Is there any custom to be observed for toasting?"

"You are supposed to look into the eyes of the person you clink glasses with," Tami answered and then giggled. "I'd rather not say what happens according to custom if you don't."

Spock raised an eyebrow, but did as instructed. He looked deeply into her eyes and said: "Shall we have an enjoyable evening."

She smiled tenderly and returned the toast. They both drank and Spock put away the glasses as the music began playing. They got in position. The first dance was a simple waltz. Spock led his partner through the steps because she had 'absolutely no feeling for rhythm or tact', she had warned him.

A few quicker songs followed and Spock changed the way they were dancing. He dipped and turned her, even lifted her off the ground by her hips, startling Tami slightly. Once he had put her down, she leaned her forehead against his shoulder and laughed.

Spock let her. He could smell the mild scent of her perfume, so different than that of her former colleague Chelsea. Over the course of the evening, they talked about everything and anything, enjoyed a few delicacies and had a few more drinks.

It was almost four in the morning when Spock noticed that Tami started getting tired. "Would you care for one last dance before I walk you back to your quarters?" he asked her gently.

She nodded and when the next song played, they went back to the dancefloor. This song was slow and sensual. They soon abandoned their usual position and like the other couples did, her arms came around his neck and his encircled her waist.

Time seemed to stand still as they swayed gently. Spock was sure Tami could feel his accelerated pulse as well as he felt hers. It was over way too soon and they made their way back to the ship in silence.

"Tami,…" Spock began uncertainly. "There is something I wish to show you. Would you accompany me to my quarters?"

Tami looked at him in surprise. His posture seemed to give his nervousness away because she quickly agreed.

Upon entering she studied his room with curiosity. "So this is how you live. Interesting." She looked up at him and frowned. "Spock, are you ok?"

Spock took her hand in his and absently ran his thumb over the smooth surface of her silver-painted nails. "I wish to convey to you that I had a very pleasant evening."

She looked down at their hands. "Yeah, I had a good time, too." She brushed her hair behind her ear with her free hand. "But something is troubling you. What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing is 'wrong'. I simply do not know how to tell you that…" He stopped. Why was this so difficult?

"You can tell me anything. Please, Spock, I'm starting to worry."

Spock let go of her hand and picked up a jewelry box from his desk. "I am aware that we have not known each other for too long, however, you fascinate me. From the day I first saw you. You always seemed to know how to deal with other cultures."

She blinked. "I'm studying languages. Culture is important in that field."

He nodded. "I know."

She took his hand this time. "Spock, we both come from cultures where it's best to be direct. What are you trying to say?"

He took a deep breath and opened the jewelry box, revealing a silver-colored necklace with sparkling faceted stones in delicate blue tones together with shimmering crystal stones. Particularly beautiful were five larger, blue pearlescent stones ***** as they reminded him of the color of her eyes. "I wish to give you this as a token of my affection and ask you if you are interested in entering a romantic relationship with me."

She looked at him with wide eyes, completely stunned. He glued his gaze to the floor, waiting anxiously for her response. A pair of slender hands cupped his face and pulled him further down before Tami placed a soft kiss on his lips. She leaned her forehead against his and smiled. "Gladly, Spock. I'd be pleased to be you girlfriend."

Spock's lips curved into a tiny smile and he put the box back on the desk before putting his arms around her to kiss her properly. His hand tangled in her hair as she kissed him back.

They separated, but remained close enough to share the same breath. "Consider yourself warned: I only do long-term relationships," she whispered.

He pressed a kiss to her blond curls. "Then we have something we agree on."

She leaned into him. "I'm tired. But I don't wanna be alone."

Spock considered. "If you let me gather a few things, I would be amenable to staying with you in your quarters tonight."

She smiled and caressed his cheek. "I'll wait for you there and get ready for bed. And maybe set a temperature we can both live with."

He handed her the jewelry box. "That is a good idea."

She smiled and left. Spock sighed in relief. He brushed his teeth and then went around his room to collect the items he would require for the night and in the morning.

He signaled her to let him in and the door immediately opened. "I'll be right out." she called from the bathroom.

"There is no need to hurry," he replied. He changed into his own sleep clothes and placed his things on her desk.

He turned at the hiss of the door and faced Tami, who wore a pair of white shorts with a grey t-shirt. Her hair was still wavy, even though she had apparently brushed it. She walked past him and put the container for her biteguard on the nightstand. "Are you coming?"

He walked to the other side of the bed and carefully sat down. He waited for her to lie down before joining her under the blanket and ordering the lights out. She cuddled close and sighed as his arms went around her. "What is it?"

"Nozing. Zis feels nice," she lisped. "It's been a while."

Spock nodded. "Your lisp is more pronounced than last time."

Her expression became sheepish. "I'm too exhausted to try to pronounce my th properly."

He stroked her hair. "It does not matter. You should sleep."

She nodded and nuzzled his shoulder. "Zanks for ze necklace."

He smiled into the dark. "I look forward to seeing you wear it. Sleep well."

"You too."

* * *

 **AN: *I borrowed the description from the website** **bijou - brigitte . com** **necklace-water-nixie**


	8. German Guilt

**Warning: Contains descriptions of Nazi crimes.**

* * *

 **German Guilt**

Spock awoke to a gentle hand stroking his hair. Occasionally, it would trail down to trace the edge of his ear. He opened his eyes slowly. Tami was leaning fully dressed against the headboard, his head resting in her lap. "Good morning," she greeted him. "You were sleeping so deeply that I decided to get dressed and do my make-up before getting back into bed. I didn't think I would wake up before you."

Spock sat up a bit reluctantly. Tami wore a dark blue polo shirt that had 'Tami' written above her left breast. Her legs were clad in turquoise capris and her feet were bare. Her jewelry consisted of her watch, silver ear studs and, to his delight, the necklace he had given her.

Together with her normal make-up look, she wore lip balm in an appealing shade of pink. He cupped her face and pecked her lips, enjoying the balm's melon flavor. "It is easy to sleep in when in the proximity of a pleasing bedmate."

She blinked and then lowered her lashes, a light blush on her cheeks. "Um, thanks?" It sounded more like a question. He tilted her chin up. "Is something wrong?"

She still avoided his gaze. "No, I'm just not used to genuine compliments. I usually only get them if a guy is trying to get into my pants." She sighed. "It's not fair to the men, but I've experienced things that make me cautious to accept any compliments."

Spock frowned. "Should I be concerned?"

She sighed again. "Let's just say that not all men are as well-behaved as you." She shook her head. "Let's change the subject please."

The worry did not leave his eyes. She got up from the bed, took her hairbrush and styled her hair into a high ponytail, using a hair tie that looked like a piece of ancient telephone cord. Spock rose and quickly washed up and dressed.

When he exited the bathroom, Tami was sitting at her desk, reading something on her laptop. He stepped behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She startled a turned to face him.

"Forgive me." He caught a glimpse of the headline. It read: 'Are Germans all brainwashed?' He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She crossed arms across her chest defensively. "It was in the middle of the night and I was fed up with some woman making wrong assumptions about the reasons for Germans' liberalism. I considered recording and publishing it, but never had the chance to do so."

Spock read through the document quickly before returning his gaze to Tami. She now also looked embarrassed. "I know it makes no sense. Eli is the only other person who's read it."

He raised a hand to gently play with her hair. "There is no need to feel defensive or ashamed of your opinion. You are trying to explain a rather foreign concept."

"It's not really well thought through or even formulated. I didn't even remember writing it the next morning."

Spock favored her with an appreciative smile. "My utmost respect for your ability to write proper English sentences while being half asleep."

Tami looked down. "Those things just keep me up at night. I hate people thinking they know all about our attitude when in truth they know nothing. We are not 'brainwashed'…"

"You simply wish to keep history from repeating itself by education on the subject."

She nodded. "And feel like we've failed to make people understand."

He gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "Tami, would it be alright for you to include the captain and Dr. McCoy in this discussion? I believe it would benefit all parties." _*Especially Jim*_ , he thought.

She shrugged. "Alright." So he requested his friends' presence in Tami's quarters, never taking his supportive hand off the girl's shoulder.

* * *

Kirk stood next to Tami's desk, reading through the text.

 _Refugees. Collective Guilt? Are Germans All Brainwashed?_

 _This does to a certain degree concern the refugee crisis, as well as what's currently going on in politics. I spend a lot of time on YouTube and often read through the comment section and respond if something bugs me._

 _Especially when it comes to the refugee situation, Germany is often used as a negative example and I've often heard that Germans would only be so liberal and open because they felt guilty for their past. About that I can only say: No, that's not true. Or at least not entirely._

 _German collective guilt, as it is often referred to, is in my opinion difficult to understand or to explain. But you are making a big mistake if you attribute every single aspect of our culture and society to this. I'm stating my personal experiences here. This can't be applied to all eighty-something million Germans of course._

 _So, in German there would be two terms. Vergangenheitsbewältigung, which means coming to terms with the past, and Erbschuld, hereditary guilt._ _In Germany, students are taught in detail about the Nazi era. The thought behind this is that many feel they have the responsibility to make sure history never repeats itself. We wish to accomplish that by informing students about the circumstances, the reasons and the consequences of it all. I was never taught to feel guilty if any of you were you should have a word with your teacher._

 _I personally wouldn't say I feel guilty, but seeing all those people cheering for Hitler and cheering when Goebbels asked outright if they wanted a "total war" makes me want to hide under the nearest table. I have also seen pictures of piles of starved, dead bodies in my history book. My class has visited a concentration camp and talked to a survivor. By the time we left the gas chamber I was close to throwing up. I've heard people call this "brainwashing". Well, actually we are only doing what for example the Americans did with the citizens of Dachau. We confront people with the consequences of spreading hatred and racism._

 _Believe me, I too sometimes would like to enter a changing room shower without getting flashes of the gas chamber in Dachau. But it's important to never forget what happened and learn for the future. I think another reason for guilt and shame might be that some have known relatives that were somehow involved in the matter._

 _This is what we wish to tell the world. Don't repeat our mistakes. The Holocaust started with discrimination against certain groups of people, we always need to remember that._

 _Another thing is the supposed destruction of our culture and that we should have more pride to be German. Honestly? National pride is probably one of the dumbest things ever invented. I have done nothing for having been born in Germany. As a matter of fact, had I been born only a bit further east, I would have been born in Austria. Yes, another reason is that it is severely frowned upon. But if you've been to more than one region of Germany you will notice that some of us have a certain regional pride. For example it is said that people from Lower Bavaria drink too much and can't drive, that Prussians have no sense of humor and that Swabians are thrifty. Those regions with their dialects and identities have existed long before Hitler._

 _Immigration hasn't killed us or German culture in the 60s and it won't kill us now either. Our favorite fast food is a Turkish dish adapted to German eating habits. What did we have so far? There was Cologne. I'm somewhat at a loss what to say about it. There should have been more police present like this year._

 _I can name three terrorist attacks, even though I've heard that it is half a dozen. The only one that killed anyone apart from the attacker was Berlin. Again, I'm baffled how authorities could lose track of someone who was known as a potential danger._

 _Despite all this, Germany is still safer than the US. Just compare the murder rate or the rate of sexually motivated crimes. Or the number of mass shootings. We've had one in 2016. What about the US?_

 _It's more likely to die in a traffic accident than in a terrorist attack. We've had more terrorism with the RAF._

 _Being afraid and hating Muslims is not helping anyone but the terrorists._

"You seem very concerned about the topic."

"You'd be too if it had been taught to you as detailed as it was to us. I actually knew people who lived in Nazi Germany. People who could tell horrific stories. I've heard a survivor of the Holocaust talk about his experiences, about how his family was murdered before even being registered. Dachau is very intimidating even if it is empty. I've seen the number tattooed on his arm, everything.

I've heard about the cruelties committed during the last days of the war. Stories about executions, people being shot simply for asking if it was once again allowed to raise the Bavarian flag. People hanged in trees for trying to make the allies' take over as easy as possible.

Residents of an old people's home being picked up and killed upon departure with the emissions of the car they were transported in. Leaving the personnel behind who could only watch while knowing exactly what was going to happen. The most common thing to say to someone who opened their mouth was 'Shut up or do you wish to end up in Dachau?'."

The look in her eyes was haunted yet determined. "That's why we need to speak up now that we cannot be politically persecuted for our opinion. Back then, I too would have been too afraid. Had the US not interfered... I don't want to imagine living in a state like Nazi Germany was."

Kirk took a deep breath. "So you think it was necessary?"

She looked at him as if he were crazy. "Necessary? You serious? The 8th of May is widely considered the day Germany was liberated."

Kirk exchanged glances with Spock and McCoy. Then he quietly told Tami about Edith Keeler and why she had to die.

"My condolences," offered Tami. "Now I understand your reaction to my nationality. It was all still too fresh."

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable."

She smiled reassuringly and held out a hand. "No worries. As we say: Schwamm drüber."

Kirk shook her hand. "Thanks."

"I don't know about you," McCoy interjected, "but I'm starving. Anything we could try from your home?"

Tami looked at Spock. "Bavarians are extensive meat eaters, Doctor." She considered. "But I might remember my dad's recipe for potato salad."

* * *

 **AN: To my German readers: I'd like to know your experiences and opinions on the subject.**

 **This is my opinion, I can't speak for all people in Germany.**

 **Everyone else is also welcome to give me their thoughts.**


	9. Fluff

**This may be somewhat cheesy.**

* * *

 **Fluff**

They say Germans have no sense of humor. Spock wondered where this stereotype came from. Over the past few weeks, he and Uhura had been exposed to several German comedians and satire shows. And while not everything managed the transfer between the two languages, some things had quite decent subtitles.

One thing was certain. Those satirists did not beat around the bush. Although Spock did not understand what they were currently watching, he got that the man on the screen was making parodies of television shows by either simply commenting or by actually dressing the way the people in the program were dressed and imitating them. And judging by the way the two women were laughing, he supposed the man with the pink bowtie was doing an excellent job.

The sound of Tami's laughter pleased him. What was even more pleasing was the way she was cuddling against him.

They had not bothered to keep their relationship a secret. He was often seen holding Tami's hand while strolling down the halls, or with her hand tucked into the crook of his elbow. Only kissing was something they only did in private. Tami had explicitly asked him about how much affection he was comfortable with.

He appreciated her consideration of their cultural differences. Dating a translator had its advantages. He was sitting on her bed with his back against the headboard, one hand resting in his lap and the other arm around Tami's shoulders. Her head was resting on his chest and her arms were wrapped around his waist. Uhura was sitting on the floor beside the bed.

Spock noticed that Tami was about to nod off. "Do you wish to rest?" he asked her quietly.

"Basst scho," she mumbled sleepily. He looked over to Uhura in confusion. "She said it's ok," the lieutenant explained. "But if she's already slipping into Bavarian, I think I should go so she can sleep."

That seemed to snap Tami out of her daze. "Sorry. I didn't mean to drive you away."

Uhura stood and smiled reassuringly. "You're not. You are tired. Get some rest."

Tami nodded and Uhura left them alone. Spock deactivated the entertainment system before pulling her closer and stroking her head. She sighed with contentment. "Aren't you getting tired of watching me sleep?"

He rested his cheek against her hair. "No, you are human. You require more sleep than I do. As a Vulcan I can work on reports and other things while watching you sleep."

She nuzzled his neck. "I don't think I make a good bedmate. Doesn't my… behavior disturb you?"

"If by 'behavior' you are referring to your snoring, I am aware that you are, in the medical sense, a 'mouth breather' due to the nasal obstruction caused by antrochoanal polyps."

She rolled her eyes. "Gscheidhaferl."

Spock frowned. "What does that mean?"

She giggled. "Don't worry. McCoy calls you worse."

"Considering the things Dr. McCoy chooses to call me, I do not find this reassuring."

She giggled again. "True. But while it is not usually meant nicely, I mean it affectionately. That's how we used it at home." She put some distance between them to face him. "You know I wouldn't intentionally insult you, don't you?"

He pulled her close once more. "Of course I know that. Just tell me."

She sighed and grinned. "Gscheidhaferl means know-it-all or smartass. I really didn't mean it as an insult. We even had a mug that read 'Royal Bavarian Gscheidhaferl' because in Bavaria and Austria a 'Haferl' is a mug."

He released a huff of breath that would have been a laugh on anyone else. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Did you just laugh?"

He quirked an eyebrow at her, his lips still turned up. "It is a most interesting pun."

She giggled. "Essentially, I just called you 'smart mug'."

He nuzzled his cheek against her hair again. "I have been called far worse by people I valued far less."

She yawned. "Okay."

He pulled the blanket over them. "Sleep well, Ashayam."

* * *

Tami had been rather moody lately. She also had not replied to his messages. He was becoming concerned. It was not like her to behave this way. On the third day of not seeing her, he rang her door chime. "Go away."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Tami, what is the matter? You are behaving quite irregular."

"Not feeling well," came the response.

This did nothing to relieve his concern. "Please let me in."

The door swished open and he entered, immediately going to her bed. She lay there, wearing a black night gown on her side. Her face was buried in her pillow. He sat on the edge of the mattress. She let out a groan of pain. He touched her arm. "What is wrong?"

Her arms moved to clutch her lower stomach. "Girl stuff."

He frowned, baffled at first, but then he understood. "That bad?"

She nodded. "I can't even stand straight or sit."

He rubbed her back. "Have you tried pain-relievers?"

Another nod. "I'm already over the recommended dose."

"Why did you not say something?"

She turned her face to him. "I have my period, Spock. I'm not ill. I didn't wish to bother you."

He ran his fingers over her cheek. "You are never a bother. Will you let me help?"

She nodded with a confused expression on her face. He stood up and left. When he returned, he was carrying a heating pad. He waited for it to heat, then slipped off his boots and lay down behind her. He pulled her against him until her back was pressed against his chest. He slid his arms around her waist, placing the pad against her lower abdomen and holding it there.

She sighed. "It should be better soon," he whispered into her ear.

She nodded. "Thanks."

"Is it always that bad?"

"Yes. I once had a friend help me to the pharmacy to ask for the strongest prescription free pain killer they had." She giggled which was a good sign. "The look on the pharmacist's face was priceless."

He inhaled the scent of her hair. "I can imagine."

She sighed. "Being a woman sucks sometimes. I feel like I'm wearing a wet diaper and the cramps are killing me."

He kissed her head. "I will do what I can to make it bearable."

She caressed his hand. "Thank you, Spock. You're a real sweetheart." She laughed quietly. "Should I even say that to a Vulcan?"

He squeezed her wrist. "I appreciate the compliment. Besides, I am half human."

She turned her head. "Huh?"

"You did not know?" he asked, feeling anxiety rise.

She rolled her eyes. "It's not like I read your file."

He swallowed hard. "You are not bothered by this fact?"

She frowned. "Why should it be an issue?"

"My classmates were not impressed with the idea."

She held his hands tighter. "Classmates can be idiots. I started ignoring mine a long time ago."

"What happened?"

She giggled. "My chemistry teacher noticed that there was this boy who was constantly picking on me. He told me that if I ever wished to hit him, he'd look the other way."

He raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Did you?"

"No, but the offer made me realize it wasn't my fault my classmates hated me." She rolled over suddenly and kissed him straight on the lips. "You're perfect just the way you are."

He adjusted the heating pad between them. "You sound like my mother."

"So, your mother is human?" He nodded. "Well, we human women have our wisdom. You can tell her she has a wonderful son." She laughed. "Even if he's a real Gscheidhaferl sometimes."

He took a strand of blond hair and tickled her ear, making her twitch and her breath catch. "I doubt my mother would understand that term."

She kissed him again. "Just saying."

He held her close. "Have your cramps lessened?"

She nodded against his shoulder. "It's much better now. Thanks."

He ran a hand through her hair, disheveling it even more. "You are quite welcome."

* * *

 **AN: Hope you enjoyed it**


	10. Happy Birthday

**Have fun reading**

* * *

 **Happy Birthday**

Spock was eating a light lunch when he received a call from his mother. "I'm sorry. I didn't wish to interrupt your meal."

He placed the cutlery on the desk. "It is of no consequence. The food cannot become cold."

"What are you having?" she asked curiously.

He gazed at his plate. "Rye bread with a specialty food a friend described to me as a mixture of butter, cream cheese, Camembert and different spices. She did not tell me the name, however."

Amanda considered the combination. "Interesting. Where is this friend from if you don't mind me asking?"

"South east Germany. This cheese mix is a Bavarian food and according to her, rye bread is a German's first association when hearing the word bread."

"What's her name?"

Spock frowned. Why was his mother so interested? "Tamara Pfaff, however, she goes by Tami as she does not find the way English native speakers pronounce her full name very agreeable."

"Tamara, huh? That's a Hebrew name. She Jewish?"

He shook his head. "Catholic, even though she calls herself agnostic."

"It's pretty. Did you know that a newer translation of it is 'life'?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating."

His mother smiled at him. "Who is this girl that made you wish to try the cuisine of her home region?"

He didn't really wish to reveal too much, but he couldn't lie, especially not to his mother. "She… is rather important to me."

"Is she your girlfriend?"

Spock nodded. "That is the appropriate term."

Amanda squealed. "Oh, Spock. I'm so happy for you. Tell me everything! What's she like?"

He hesitated. How much about Tami should he tell her? "She is considerate, intelligent, understanding, honest…"

She smiled. "You're smitten. I'd like to meet her."

"She is asleep. She has not been dreaming well. Her departure from her home was… rather unpleasant."

Amanda frowned with concern. "What happened?"

Spock looked away before refocusing on the screen. Then he told her about Tami's origin. His mother looked shocked. "How…?"

"We believe it has something to do with the protest she attended. The people there seemed very aggressive."

"Aggressive enough to beat a young woman to death?"

"If she has opposite political views, I would not exclude the possibility."

Amanda nodded gravely. "What are you doing today?" she changed the subject.

"I will finish my lunch and then I will attend a small birthday party thrown by Lieutenant Uhura for Tami to keep her mind off her friends and family back in 2017."

His mother smiled. "Well then. I won't keep you any longer. Give her my best wishes. Bye, Spock."

Spock nodded. "I will. Goodbye, Mother."

* * *

He met Uhura, Kirk and McCoy in front of Tami's door. Kirk was holding a small package, McCoy a bouquet of yellow and blue flowers and Uhura a cake covered in silver fondant and reading 'Ois Guade' with 23 lit candles on top.

"That's some cake," McCoy said appreciatively. "What's in it?"

Uhura winked. "You'll see, Doctor."

They rang the chime and were called inside by the birthday girl. Inside they found a beer bench covered by a lozenge-style white and blue table cloth. Sitting next to the piece of furniture was a small refrigerator with Tami's favorite beer.

Tami appeared, wearing Bavarian traditional dress, a low-cut short-sleeved white blouse under a light blue calf-length _Dirndl_ with a dark blue apron, fastened with a bow over her right hip. She also wore an edelweiss necklace and her hair was braided.

Each of them shared a hug with her and gave her the gifts. "What did you bring, Spock?" asked Kirk.

"Nothing you can wrap in paper, Captain." he tapped his instrument case.

"Oh, a song. How sweet," Uhura cooed.

Tami blushed slightly. "Thanks for keeping me company today. You want coffee or tea with the cake? _Tasse_ or _Haferl_?" At the last word she gave Spock a small smirk.

Kirk looked at her questionably. "A _Tasse_ is a cup, a _Haferl_ a mug," Spock translated.

So the humans opted for mugs of coffee, Spock for Vulcan tea he had left at Tami's quarters. It wasn't really her thing, but sometimes they would have some tea, chai tea with milk for Tami, together.

"Tell us about the outfit," McCoy prompted with a smile.

"This is a _Dirndl_ ," Tami explained. "They come in various colors and patterns. The blouse is usually white but can sometimes be black and can have different styles. The position of the bow indicates a woman's relationship status. Is it on the right, the woman is married or otherwise in a relationship, on the left it means she is single, at the front it traditionally means she is a virgin and at the back she is either a widow or the waitress."

Kirk and McCoy smirked at each other. "Good to know."

Tami managed to blow out all candles at once, earning her applause. The cake was filled with pistachio cream and strawberries. They chatted, had some beer and after a few hours, it was only the two of them left.

They cleaned up and then Spock led Tami to the bed where they sat down and he started playing a song for her on his lyre, quietly singing the Vulcan lyrics. She listened with awe. When he was finished she asked: "What was that song?"

"It is an ancient love song. Did you enjoy it?"

Tami hugged and kissed him, mindful of the instrument in his lap. Spock quickly put it back in its case before embracing her again. "Happy birthday, Tami," he whispered into her ear.

She sighed and rubbed his back. They kissed again and again, each kiss more passionate than the one before. She pulled him on top of her and gently ran her fingers over the shell of his ear, making him shiver. She smiled.

"I need to know if I am interpreting your actions correctly. Do you really wish to take this step?"

She placed a kiss on his cheek. "Yes."

They took their time and afterwards he held her close and rubbed her back, whispering reassuring words into her ear while she mourned her old life and finally let herself cry.

* * *

 **I know this is somewhat short, but I wished to write a birthday special and didn't have much time. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. I was wondering if I should write an M-rated version. Let me know your opinion.  
**


	11. Revelations

**This chapter will deal with history and some political views.**

* * *

 **Revelations**

"If you could have lived in any country, which would you have chosen?"

Tami contemplated Nurse Chapel's question. "I think I still would have stayed in Germany. I've always wanted to visit the US, but I prefer Germany."

"Well, it's your home..."

Tami shook her head. "That's not the only reason. If I need medical aid, I don't need to worry about money because my statutory health insurance will cover most of the costs if not all of it. If I lose my job, the state will pay for my health insurance, my rent and give me the minimum of money to live off as long as I make an effort to find employment. Should I get pregnant, I'm entitled to paid leave a few weeks before and some weeks after the birth. Furthermore, there are up to 30 days of paid vacation and six weeks of paid medical leave."

She shrugged. "The system isn't perfect and needs reforms we're probably not gonna get under the current chancellor, but at least it's there. Moreover, due to the very lax gun laws that allow almost anyone to own a gun without even having to lock it away, it's fifteen times more likely to get shot in the US, American police fires the same amount of bullets at two people than ours does in an entire year, their crime rate is several times higher than in Germany. Then there is free public university, so I can't complain even though I attended a private institution with tuition of 215 euros a month, but at least I don't have thousands of dollars of student debt."

Chapel stared at Tami for a moment and Spock gently brushed his fingers against his girlfriend's hand under the table. "Those are reasonable arguments."

She smiled. "There are sentimental reasons, too. It is my home. I'd miss the language and the food, especially the nice crunchy bread." She giggled. "And to confirm a stereotype, I'd absolutely miss the Bavarian beer."

"Should we worry about your alcohol consumption?"

Spock could see a small frown on Tami's face. "Nah, I've been drinking beer since I was 16. I know my limit."

"16!? That's far too young," Chapel exclaimed.

Tami shrugged. "It's the legal age limit for beer and wine." She sounded shy.

"That's completely nuts."

The German gave another shrug. "Considering the cultural significance of some beverages, I doubt stricter laws would work even if I wouldn't be averse to changing the age limit to 18 for all alcoholic drinks. We have campaigns to make people aware of the consequences of alcohol abuse. I am aware of the risk of having alcohol so cheaply and easily available."

"You think that's enough? You criticize American culture so freely..."

"I never said there weren't any bad things about Germany," Tami interrupted angrily. "Your question was what country I would have liked to live in. Why are you so angry about my personal opinion?"

"I don't need a lecture from someone related to an SS-officer, a man who executed an innocent man at the very end of the war and a German soldier."

Spock saw Tami stiffen. Her eyes darted to his with a quick flash of shame. Then she balled her fists and stood up. "Really, Nurse? Are you so consumed by jealousy that you hold my family history against me? People neither of us knew? Men whose choices, whose mindset and experiences you don't know about? That's as low as it can get."

And with that Tami left the mess with quick strides, leaving a shocked nurse and a worried Vulcan staring after her.

* * *

Spock activated Tami's door buzzer. "Who's there?"

"Spock. I wish to inquire about your emotional state."

The door opened and he was confronted with his girlfriend, who still wore a rather annoyed expression. He could hear music playing in the background, a soothing female voice singing lyrics he didn't understand. The doors closed behind him.

"You didn't need to come. I'm fine."

"You are most certainly not 'fine'. As a matter of fact you appear rather angry."

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Of course I'm angry. She has no business snooping around in my family history and no right to hold events against me that occurred about 50 years before I was even born."

Spock reached out to pull her close and she allowed it. "Do you wish to talk about it?"

She looked up at him. "Do you truly wish to know?"

He brushed her hair back. "I am certain they had interesting stories to tell."

They sat down on her bed. Her eyes were fixed on nothing as she searched her memories. "All I know is what my father told me. The soldier was his maternal grandfather. He lost a leg in Russia and had a different perspective of the Soviets. He said that if they had gotten exact revenge, there would not have been much left to rebuild. He also said that if they had fired at the people transporting him off the battlefield when he was wounded like others did, he would not have made it out alive. I personally don't wish to think about the war crimes committed by all parties at all to be honest."

Spock lifted her chin. "You wrote you did not feel shame, yet you are radiating it. Why?"

She sighed. "My views have already cost me two friendships and earned me quite a number of insults. It wasn't an easy time period and I don't miss it in the least. Sometimes I'm tired of trying to stay neutral and I fail sometimes doing so."

He kissed her softly. "Please do not ever change that. I appreciate a great deal that you try to stay neutral when it comes to controversial issues. At least as much as it is humanly possible."

She sighed heavily. "The second story is about my mother's maternal grandfather. He was a Rumanian migrant and the only way for him as a non-German to achieve something in the system was to join the SS. He was a guard at the Obersalzberg, Hitler's mountain domicile. He told my father he'd always stood in the back so that he didn't have to personally meet Hitler, but he once became the butt of a joke from Hitler's lover and later wife Eva Braun. "

Spock raised his eyebrows. "Please continue, I am most intrigued."

She smiled a little. "She went past him and when he didn't respond she asked him if he didn't have to make a report to her, something actually reserved for superior officers. And for a moment he feared that included her and he had made a grave mistake. But the she just laughed it off and left."

"Human humor escapes me."

"In this case you're not the only one. You up for the most bothersome story? I'm a bit worried what you'll think of me. My father had a hard time because he shared his paternal grandfather's last name. Which is also my surname."

"Tami, I am the last person to judge you for events that occurred before you were born."

She lowered her eyes. "This is more complicated. My great-grandfather was too short to join the army. He became a member of the party because it gave him many advantages like a cheap mortgage for the house. In 1945, when US-troops were already close, parts of the population attempted and failed to overthrow the Nazi-administration. One day, my great-grandfather was picked up, armed and driven to the city center. He was confused because he thought they'd be fighting off hostile troops. Upon arrival he was 'assigned' to the town's pastor and told to execute him on grounds of separatism. Under Hitler the federal states didn't exist. It was Germany and Germany only. He'd walked into city hall and asked whether it was okay again to raise the Bavarian flag, which indirectly meant 'Is the war over yet?'. My great-grandfather hesitated and told the officer in charge 'I can't do it. I know him, I can't do this.' to which the officer only replied: 'If you don't, you and your family can join the prisoners.' One of his kids, my grandfather was only four years old at the time. So he fired. He later told my father: 'I was such a Nazi, I was dumb enough to believe everything they said. I really believed we could win the war until they made me kill that man.'"

She took a deep breath. "Sometimes it feels odd to know that I owe my very existence to that bullet."

She was surprised when he hugged her close. "I do not know how many people can claim not to have done the same."

Tami snorted. "That's exactly what my friend from Cologne said after we had dinner the night before I left Spain."

"Then why are you so doubtful? Do not take Nurse Chapel's words too hard."

"I wasn't sure how important my family background would be to you or your family. And I know why she is acting like this. I found you quite likeable from the start, but I knew she has a crush on you. I didn't want to actively make advances towards you, but your behavior indicated that you wished to be with me. And because I shared your feelings…, I really tried to take hers into account."

He frowned. "You would have ignored your own feelings to spare those of someone who gave you quite a hard time?"

She blushed and shrugged. "I didn't want to be in the way of a relationship between the two of you."

He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "When did you realize I was romantically interested in you?"

She took his hand. "Don't worry. Your control is freaking amazing. It was the coffee you served me at my first breakfast on board. It tasted exactly like the one from my favorite coffee shop at Munich central station. Cappuccino with the exactly right amount of milk foam, sugar and caramel syrup. And I only mentioned those things once at the party." Her expression became tender. "You researched the exact recipe, didn't you?"

The tips of his ears flushed green, to her amusement. "Down to the blend and coffee maker used," he admitted quietly.

She laughed and kissed him. He deepened the kiss and arranged their hands so that her middle and index fingers touched his. She leaned her forehead against his. "Spock?"

"Yes?"

"Ich… hab' dich lieb. You are very dear to me."

He kissed her lips softly. "Taluhk nash-veh k'dular. I cherish thee."

* * *

 **If you would like a chapter on political issues in Germany, let me know. I've already made a list of things to discuss.**


	12. Author's Note

**AN: I feel the need to make a few things clear. To my rather charming guest reviewer or reviewers, I can assure you that I have had plenty of discussions with Americans, probably more than anyone ever has has with Germans before talking about certain subjects.**

 **It is interesting that nobody has a problem when I write about German issues such as Pegida or our supposed national guilt trip, but as soon as I criticize the US, people get upset. I thought I had made clear that I was going to talk about current politics.**

 **I was about to talk about Germany's foreign policy and the Chancellor, as well as the elections, so if you do not like my 'babbling', be warned.**

 **As for lack of knowledge, my studies do not only include language, but also society, politics and most importantly law of the UK as well as the US. I'm not here to write an essay on the pros and cons of gun control, nor can I guarantee a completely unbiased viewpoint.**


	13. Future

**Future**

Tami was tossing and turning. Every time she fell asleep she saw images that didn't seem to make any sense apart from black, red golden flags and angry shouts. Spock was on the bridge working the night shift. He had said he'd visit in the afternoon.

She picked up her phone that now only served as a camera, music player and alarm clock. She caught a look of the time and buried her face in the pillow with a groan. Half past three in the morning. Seriously?

She slowly made her way to the bathroom and splashed her face with water. She raised an eyebrow at her reflection. She did not usually have circles under her eyes even if she slept little, but now the make-up junkie in her doubted there was any concealer capable of covering this up.

She slipped on drawstring pants and an oversized black hoodie and ran a hand over the messy bun on top of her head. She didn't even bother with the bite guard before dragging herself to sickbay like a zombie.

Nurse Chapel was the only one she encountered upon arrival. She gave the younger woman a once over and asked: "What can I do for you this early?"

Tami rubbed her eyes. "I'm experiencing trouble sleeping. I've tried everything from warm milk to tea, exhausting myself, but nothing works. My mind is constantly showing me images I can't place. Do you know anything that might help?"

Chapel led Tami to a bed and made her sit down. "Beer?"

Tami snorted. "Alcohol isn't the solution to everything. Hops helps sometimes. You're the medical professional. I trust your opinion."

The nurse went to the synthesizer and returned with a mug of valerian tea. Tami accepted it with a nod of thanks and took a sip before wrinkling her nose in disgust. That made Chapel smile. "About the other day… I don't know what came over me. I'm not like that normally…"

Tami shook her head. "It's ok. I understand to a certain degree. Our feelings make us say things we normally wouldn't say. I've heard politicians use that when they ran out of arguments of why they shouldn't be criticized." She extended her free hand.

Christine took the offered hand and squeezed it. "Just be good to him, okay?"

Tami gave a small smile. "I'll do what I can."

"Have you figured out what to do with your life yet?"

The girl shrugged. "I've found something I can do no matter where I am. But once your history department is done with me, I'll probably get another reception job at an office or a hotel. I have applied to jobs around the quadrant, but haven't gotten a reply so far. There were several that would give me the opportunity to learn an extraterrestrial language."

"Sounds good. What did Spock say?"

Tami sighed. "He doesn't know yet. I doubt, however, that he's unaware that I can't just stay on board. I wished to talk to him about it this afternoon. "

Chapel smiled sadly. "What will you do when it's time?"

Tami gave a mirthless laugh. "Cry my eyes out." She handed the empty mug back and stood. "Thanks for your time. Good night."

"Good night, sleep well."

* * *

Spock let himself into Tami's quarters. She was sitting at her desk, typing away on the computer terminal. She looked up and smiled tiredly. "Hey."

He went over to her and ran his fingers across hers. "What are you doing?"

"I've taken up a small job for a network that translates legal language into plain standard. It earns me a small allowance and I can do that while Starfleet is still busy with me. Afterwards I will probably just work at another reception desk. I'm still waiting for a reply to my applications."

"Where are those jobs located?"

She smiled sadly up at him. "At the risk of sounding cheesy, everywhere feels too far away from you."

Spock kissed the top of her head. "I will visit as often as I can."

She stood up and hugged him tightly. "I know. It still makes me sad to think about being alone again."

He held her tight. "You are never alone. We will stay in contact."

She sniffed and buried her face in his chest. "Good thing I didn't put make-up on."

"It would not matter. And we still have time. There is something I wish to talk to you about."

They sat down on the bed. "The Enterprise will soon take on board delegates from different planets to escort them to a conference. My father will lead the Vulcan delegation and my mother expressed the wish to meet you."

"Meeting the parents, huh? Anything I should be aware of?"

Spock looked uncomfortable. "The relationship between my father and me is tense. We have not spoken for years."

Tami frowned. "What happened?"

"He disagreed with my choice of career."

She held his hand between hers. "It will all go well. And I'd be pleased to meet your mother."

"I wish I could be as optimistic as you."

She smiled. "If it helps, my stepfather constantly told me I had wasted two years at the first school before going to Munich. I know it was a good decision. And you don't seem to regret your choices either."

"I have found my place in the universe."

"And I have gained enough confidence so that my teachers no longer noticed my nervousness when interpreting. The first time I did it I ran out of the room crying. Now I can keep up a professional façade."

He pulled her even closer. "I will miss you."

She nuzzled his neck. "I'll miss you, too. Hab' dich lieb."

He inhaled the scent of her shampoo. If only he could find a way to keep her on board.

* * *

 **Hey everyone. This is a bit shorter than usual, but I wanted to get this done before returning to university tomorrow. As I have homework due, it may take a while for me to update because I will have to rewatch some episodes as well.**


	14. Language

**This mi** **ght be a bit depressing**

* * *

 **Language**

They worked in comfortable silence. The only sounds were the clacking of the keys and Tami occasionally murmuring sentences from her assignment. Tami had not only been studying to become a translator and interpreter, she had been specializing in legal language. She had proudly shown him the English translation of a German prenuptial agreement she had received an A on.

Spock was glad for her that she had been given the opportunity to work with legal texts despite not being a certified translator. He put aside the PADD and focused on his girlfriend who was currently searching her glossary for the best plain English equivalent for some term.

"You already hold a college degree, or some equivalent. What does this profession entail?"

She didn't look up from her work. "I am what we call a 'Fremdsprachenkorrespondentin'. Literally translated that means foreign language correspondent. At least that's what the certificate from the Chamber of Commerce says, even though I've been told that doesn't make much sense in English. If I had started to work for a company, I would have assisted my superior with the international business correspondence, phone calls and international guests. In essence, I'm a secretary with extended language skills who can write business letters in three languages and do basic interpreting."

She finished up what she had been working on and turned her chair to face him. "Why do you ask?"

"I was curious about how you became the receptionist at a governmental office."

She giggled. "A very boldly formulated application letter that ignored every aspect of the overly polite way English native speakers seem to value so much. My German teacher would have been impressed with my direct style. No would, no could, only a few please thrown in and no small talk of any kind."

"Was it difficult to learn?"

She considered. "English worked out fine because we had a teacher that would take the time to correct every homework assignment and explain all our mistakes to us. Spanish was bad as our teacher's only qualification appeared to be that she was a native speaker. She gave us pointless vocabulary quizzes, never corrected anything and didn't even explain the tenses to us. Considering that Germans use two of their three past tenses pretty interchangeably, that was a large problem. And she did nothing to help us with making our accents less obvious. I haven't even gotten rid of it entirely in English."

Spock frowned. "You sometimes pronounce the w like a v and you do not always draw out the vowels enough, but it is minor. Is this so important to you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. From my time abroad and from our foreign students in Munich I got the impression that we're the only ones trained not to have an accent. Maybe a German accent sounds too harsh? In Spanish I was told I make the breaks between the individual words too long. Those clear breaks between words are apparently one of the reasons why foreigners think we're yelling at each other. "

She stood, switched off the computer and stretched, an expression of pain briefly flashing across her face.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, my muscles are just a bit stiff."

He put his report aside, crossed the distance between them and pushed her back into the chair. She hissed when he started kneading her bare shoulders. "Your muscles are more than 'a bit stiff'. How bad is it really?"

She sighed. "Every movement of my shoulders and my neck hurts and my head is pounding."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Why did you not tell me when I asked?"

Her eyes squeezed shut and he felt her pain through their skin-to-skin contact when he pressed harder. "You have more important things to do. And I have more tolerance than you give me credit for." Barely had she finished that sentence when she moved her hand to her mouth, looking like she was about to vomit. She took a shaky breath. "Okay, add nausea to the list."

Spock allowed himself a barely noticeable sigh. "Please take off your top and brassiere and lie down on the bed. I will not let you suffer from a condition that can be remedied easily."

She started to object. "Spock..."

"Please do as I ask," he insisted.

Tami finally obeyed. He knelt over her, warmed some lotion between his hands and started on her lower back, working his way up to the worst spots. Her eyes squeezed shut and she groaned. Spock worked quickly and efficiently and finally she relaxed. "Thank you, Spock," she sighed sleepily.

"You are welcome." He helped her redress and gently moved to her legs. His hands on the back of her thighs made her twitch and giggle, to his amusement. She yelped when he moved his fingers against her skin with purpose. She whined his name, but he couldn't sense any displeasure. He slowly went lower, down her calves and with a mischievous gleam in his eyes that made her gulp he continued his torture on her feet. He gripped her ankles tightly to keep her from kicking him. At this point, she was downright hysterical, gasping for breath between bouts of laughter. "Stop!" she cried, the word sounding more like 'shtop', but all became clear to him when she yelled: "Hör' auf! Bitte!"

He released her legs and raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirking up. She looked at him, cheeks pink with embarrassment. "Don't look at me like that. This should hardly be a surprise."

"I am not surprised that you are ticklish. I simply did not know you could be reduced to babbling German by the stimulation of a certain spot."

She rearranged her legs almost protectively to sit cross-legged. She seemed determined to avoid his gaze. "Neither did I."

He lifted her chin up. "There is no reason to be embarrassed. This is only the two of us, not some assignment where your language would have to be flawless. As a matter of fact, it is difficult to tell that you did not grow up speaking English. Why are you so hard on yourself?"

She gave a mirthless laugh. "Have you seen my report cards? I barely passed my finals. I had to take an oral exam in two subjects to achieve a passing grade. My stepfather later told me that he would have kicked me out had I given up, even though I would still have been able to take this career path. Try to find a flat when you only have 400 euros at your disposal. He also said that a C was no longer acceptable so everything less than a B was a huge drama for me. I could meet those expectations because this is the one thing I'm really good at, but the stress in high school and my stepfather's complete disrespect for any of us made me want to jump off a building or swallow our entire medicine cabinet."

He looked at her with barely concealed shock. "Did you really contemplate suicide?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes my thoughts are so dark that I can't stand the silence when I'm alone. That's why I always have headphones with me."

"How did your parents react?"

"I never told them. My mother and her husband blamed hormones for my mood swings. Only one of my friends knew at the time, nobody else would have understood or taken my issues seriously. And we were too dependent on my stepfather to just leave." She sighed. "There are many things I miss, but I'm finally free to be myself and express my opinion without being yelled at. I'm okay now. Don't worry." She smiled slightly. "You sure about us, now that you know how mental I am?"

Spock took her hand. "I will most certainly not terminate our relationship over this. How did you manage to get over those thoughts?"

She laughed. "I'm annoyingly rational in the weirdest situations. The rational part of me told the emotional to shut the hell up and that it would not help anyone if I did this. Sorry, that sounds downright schizophrenic."

He kissed her. "No, it does not. I can somewhat relate."

She nodded in understanding, then she smirked evilly. Before he could react he found himself flat on his back with her on top of him. "Don't you think I'm letting you get away," she whispered before nibbling on his ear. He shivered and pulled her closer. "I am quite amenable to this course of action."

* * *

 **Should you wish for more details on the German education system, you can look it up in my story "Author's Note" under "Gymnasium".**


	15. Journey to Babel

**Sorry for the wait. There was writer's block, health issues, countless doctor's appointments. Here it is. Enjoy**

* * *

 **Journey to Babel**

Spock rose from the bed. "I need to return to my quarters before the Vulcan delegation arrives."

Tami sat up and watched him dress, pulling up the blanket to cover her chest. "So, I'll meet you at the reception? What should I wear? I'd rather not choose traditional dress. I don't want your parents to think I'm an uncultured, uneducated country bumpkin."

He tucked his undershirt into his pants. "I doubt my parents would think that based on a garment from your home region."

"Yeah, you're right. It's just that every time I mention I studied in Munich, the first thing I hear is 'beer' and 'Oktoberfest', even from people I expected more of."

He sat back down to put on his boots. "You do not have to dress too formally, but also not too casually."

She considered, then smiled at him tenderly. "I think I can work something out."

He regarded her fondly, the memories of this morning's activities still clear in his mind. "Are you okay? You said you and your father haven't spoken in years."

He allowed himself a sigh. "I will be alright. Do not be concerned."

She leaned closer and kissed him. "If you say so."

He kissed her, this time more deeply, tracing her shoulder blades with his fingers. They separated so that he could put on his tunic. She reached out her hand for him to take. He brushed his fingers against hers. "I need to go."

She nodded. "See you then."

Spock gave her the approximation of a smile before leaving Tami's quarters.

* * *

"On Vulcan, the teddy bears are alive. And they have six-inch fangs," Spock told McCoy before turning away, his eyes immediately landing on his girlfriend. She stood a bit apart, wearing black pumps, a light-blue blouse, black form-fitting pants and a matching waistcoat. She was fidgeting, clearly nervous. Her open hair went just below her shoulders in a layered cut.

For jewelry she had chosen a bracelet and small silver earrings. Typical for her, she wore black winged eyeliner, mascara and natural looking lipstick. Her fingernails were short and painted metallic silver.

She caught sight of him and smiled. "Hey," she said when he stood in front of her. "I hope this is okay. The outfit is suitable for the Chamber of Commerce and the make-up and nail polish are simply my usual style."

He squeezed her hand. "It is appropriate for a civilian. You worry too much. I do not want you to be anyone but yourself. Everything will be fine."

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Sorry, it's just the first time I'm first introduced as girlfriend and not a class mate." She looked up at him shyly. "I just don't wish to screw up. The last thing you need is more problems with your father for picking an unsuitable woman."

Spock almost sighed. "You are not unsuitable. You are intelligent, honest and considerate and you have an awareness of other cultures that many lack. My father will likely always disagree with my choices, but regarding my relationship with a human female, he should not be the one talking."

She giggled, but still looked uncertain. "I also eat a lot of meat, I drink, I curse and my vanity isn't exactly a positive trait either."

He gave the Vulcan equivalent of an eye roll and gently took hold of her upper arms. "You need to relax. It will be alright. You are by far not the individual with the most disturbing cultural habits and personality traits. Why do you never see yourself in a positive light?"

She shrugged. "My positive characteristics are not usually pointed out to me."

Spock pressed his lips together. "Then I will continue to point them out. But now you need to be calm and come with me."

Tami closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths before looking at him and nodding. "Alright. Let's do this."

He released her and made his way over to his parents with Tami right behind him. "Mother, Sarek, this is Tamara K. Pfaff, the woman I am in a relationship with."

Tami nodded her head in greeting. "Ambassador, Lady Amanda. I am honored to make your acquaintance. Forgive me for not greeting you in the customary manner, but I am afraid I cannot manipulate my fingers that way."

Amanda smiled while Sarek raised his hand in the salute regardless. "My wife has told me about Spock's relationship with you. Your formality of language is quite pleasant."

Tami blinked then nodded again. "Thank you, Sir. My register of language ranges from very colloquial speech with many contractions to very formal essay writing style and legal language."

Amanda greeted her more warmly by giving her a firm handshake as it was customary in Tami's culture. "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you prefer Tamara or Tami?" she asked, pronouncing the three a's like the British pronunciation of the a in 'dance' and rolling the r a bit.

Tami smiled in pleased surprise. "Either way is fine. I simply do not fancy the American pronunciation of my full name."

"You also speak American English mostly, but with some British words," Sarek remarked.

Tami shrugged. "In high school, the focus was on British English, but most of my teachers in language school were Americans. I strive to speak with a higher register for this occasion than I normally would, Sir."

He nodded and led the way towards a table surrounded by four chairs, Amanda following close behind.

Tami looked at Spock with slightly furrowed brows. "Was I too arrogant?" she mouthed to him.

Spock shook his head. "You are doing well, do not be concerned."

She bit her lip. "It's hard not to. I'll admit that your father is quite intimidating."

Spock gave her a look that said 'Don't I know it', placed his hand on her back and gently pushed her towards the table where they sat down.

"Spock, I believe it is considered polite in human culture for the man to pull out the chair for the woman," Sarek addressed his son in a tone that could have been considered reprimanding.

"Not in all human cultures, Ambassador," Tami interjected. "German women place great value on their independence and equality. Many of those "gentlemanly" gestures are considered out of date and unnecessary. Spock and I have discussed our respective cultural norms and values at great length and we have reached a satisfactory compromise.

Spock resisted the urge to smirk. He inclined his head instead and said with well-hidden but no less strong pride: "That is correct."

* * *

He was pacing, aware that Tami was following him with her eyes form where she sat cross-legged on his bed. "I can understand your decision, Spock. I can also understand why your mother is upset. She shouldn't have slapped you though."

Spock sat down on the edge of the mattress with a sigh. "I do not know what I should do."

She kneeled behind him, pulled him against her so that the back of his head rested against her chest and her chin on the top of his head. She ran her hands gently up and down his arms. "I'm afraid I can't help you there."

He became a bit less stiff. "You will not think less of me no matter how I decide?"

"No, I'd understand either decision. I won't judge you."

She kissed his head before getting up and walking towards the door. "I'll leave you alone. You probably wish to meditate on the matter."

Spock blinked before smiling softly. "Thank you. For understanding."

She smiled, waved and left. Spock last thought before slipping into meditation was how important this woman was to him.

* * *

Tami leaned back in her chair and took another sip from her beer. The last few days had been challenging. She hoped she had been sufficient support for Spock. His parents were about to leave the ship. They had had a formal goodbye and now Tami just needed to relax with a nice cold bottle of Bavarian Helles.

The door buzzer sounded. Tami put down the bottle. "Come in." Her visitor was not Spock, but his mother. Tami immediately stood and straightened, trying to keep the beer out of sight. "Lady Amanda. What a surprise. What is the matter?"

Amanda made a dismissive gesture. "Please, Tami, relax. I am not here as an ambassador's wife, I am here as a mother."

Tami grinned wryly. "I am not sure if I shouldn't be even more concerned."

Amanda laughed. "I just wanted to say goodbye to you in a less formal setting. You are good for him. He is happy. I can see it."

Tami blushed slightly. "I am glad to have your approval. He… makes me happy, too. Despite all circumstances."

The older woman smiled. "Yes, I heard. You don't miss hearing 'I love you', do you?"

The blonde shook her head. "No. I can't exactly say it either. I gave him a German phrase that can refer to romantic love, but is more often used with family. It's just… easier to say. And holds more meaning to me than the English."

Amanda's eyes sparkled. "I am glad." She sighed and hugged the girl. "Thank you for your acceptance of him. I hope to see you again. Goodbye, Tami."

Tami was unsure what to do before returning the hug a bit awkwardly. "It is no big deal. Your son is wonderful." She giggled. "Even if he can be a real Gscheidhaferl sometimes."

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it. I have an idea for the next chapter, but I'd like to know what you'd like me to write next.**


	16. Lullaby

**Includes references to the episode "Amok Time"**

* * *

 **Lullaby**

Spock had thought about this long and hard. She needed to know, but he was afraid that this information would scare her away. He did not wish to lose her, but it did not seem fair to keep this from her until it was too late for them both.

His door buzzer sounded. He took a deep breath before telling her to enter. "Hey, Spock," Tami greeted. "You sounded like it was rather urgent. What's the matter?"

He closed his eyes and took another meditative breath. "There is something you need to know about me. Something important that I need to be honest with you about. This is difficult for me. Forgive me. We hardly speak about this among ourselves…"

Tami took hold of his arm. "Maybe we should sit down." She radiated concern. She guided him to the bed where they sat facing each other.

Spock did not dare to look into her eyes. "Once about every seven years, a Vulcan is driven by his biology to take a mate or die. During this time, he is stripped of his control and logic." He swallowed hard. "Should we still be together the next time this befalls me, I will be drawn to you. I can't lie to you. I do not wish to harm you, but I will be unable to control myself." Spock finally looked at her and saw his fears confirmed at her conflicted and fearful expression. "Will it be that bad?"

Spock nodded and told her what had transpired on his home world. By the end of his story, her eyes were wide and glistening with unshed tears. "I…" she stammered, then suddenly jumped up and hurried towards the door. "I need to think." And with that he was alone.

He couldn't force back the wave of sadness at possibly having lost this very important being in his life. He felt so unbelievably empty. He buried his face in his pillow, which still smelled of her, and gave up all attempts to compose himself.

* * *

Tami was pacing in her quarters, tears running down her face unhindered. She was cursing herself, not bothering to do so mentally. " _Scheiße, verdammt, Tami. Was sollte das?_ " *****

She groaned. He'd just told her something that was clearly embarrassing for him. And how did she thank him? By abandoning him for something he couldn't help. She felt horrible. She was scared. Scared of what this condition implied and of what would become of them. Even if she found a way to get him through this, would he forgive her for her reaction?

Someone announced their presence at her door. She opened it with a sharp "What?" before flinching back as she saw no one less than Captain Kirk standing in front of her. Her eyes widened and she hastily took a step back to let him enter. "Sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to..."

Kirk raised his hand to stop her rambling. "It's quite alright. I am not here as the captain anyway. I heard about Spock. I wished to know how you were doing."

She sighed heavily. "I'm such an idiot."

Kirk led her to sit on the bed before sitting next to her in an odd repetition of the scene in Spock's quarters. "You were overwhelmed. I doubt Spock holds it against you. I bet he's cursing himself for being half-Vulcan for a change."

She glared. "Thanks, Captain. Just my point. I hurt him when he was most vulnerable. That was absolutely _scheiße_ of me."

Kirk raised an eyebrow, but did not comment on her Germish. "I know it is scary. I was there."

"How can you be so calm? He almost killed you. I know he wasn't himself. But that's what scares me."

Kirk sighed. "I think it is because even almost out of his mind, he tried to convince T'Pau to keep me and Bones out of it. I think if you two address the issue appropriately the moment his behavior becomes irregular, maybe he will not be as violent."

Tami sniffed. "That's what I wondered. Maybe I need to contact Amanda on the matter. She looked no worse for the wear. I'm just still unsure how to save the relationship. What I did was horrible."

Kirk patted her shoulder. "Just talk to him. Honestly. About all your fears. I'm sure you can work through this."

She swallowed and nodded. "I will. But first I need to clean my face."

* * *

Spock almost jumped when his computer announced a message. He got up and read:

 _Spock_

 _Please meet me at my quarters immediately. I've been thinking. We need to talk._

 _Tami_

Spock's shoulders slumped. He tried to move through the corridors without looking like he was attending his own execution, certain that this was it. She would end it.

The door slid open immediately, to his surprise. "Sleeping area, Spock. Come on in."

He was confused. What was going on? She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, without make-up, hair up in a messy bun and in her dark blue pajamas. Her eyes were red and puffy. "Spock, I need to apologize. You told me something so deeply personal, made yourself so vulnerable and I reacted badly. I'm sorry. I was, still am, scared. It's just, my first attempts at penetrative sex were so painful I started crying every single time we tried before figuring out how to do it. It scares the hell out of me."

Spock swallowed, steadying his voice. "I understand. I am now even more certain that I cannot subject you to this insanity. I was glad you allowed me to be with you." He turned, wanting to make it back to his room, before his mask slipped.

However, Tami had stood up and held him back by his sleeve. "Spock, I do not wish to discontinue our relationship. I found out how to solve the pain issue, we will make it through your… time. Together. If you can forgive me my reaction and still wish to be my boyfriend."

Her words took some time to register. When he'd put it together he couldn't keep his hands from shaking anymore. "There is nothing to forgive. I do not wish to be without you."

She carefully stepped further towards him and embraced him. His arms came around her tightly, his whole body now trembling.

She guided him to lie on the bed next to her. She stroked his cheek. "It's ok, Spock. I'm here. For as long as you'll have me," she whispered softly.

He lost it. He let out a sob, his eyes leaking tears. Her reaction was to pull him partly on top of her, his ear resting over her heart, manicured nails scratching his scalp. "It's ok. I'm here. I'm not going to leave."

He battled with his feelings for a while until he became aware she was quietly singing.

"La le lu, nur der Mann im Mond schaut zu, wenn die kleinen Babys schlafen. Drum schlaf auch du.

La le lu, vor dem Bettchen steh'n zwei Schuh, und die sind genau so müde. Geh'n jetzt zur Ruh'.

Dann kommt auch der Sandmann, leis' schleicht er durch's Haus, sucht aus seinen Träumen dir den schönsten raus.

La le lu, nur der Mann im Mond schaut zu, wenn die kleinen Babys schlafen. Drum schlaf auch du."

„Is that a lullaby?" he asked drowsily, much calmer now.

"Yes," she answered quietly. "My favorite when I was little. And with lyrics just as incredibly stupid as those of the children's song about the grandma riding a motorcycle in a chicken shed."

He smiled. "Would you translate this one for me as well?"

She snorted. "I'll try. La le lu, only the man in the moon watches when the little babies are sleeping. That's why you sleep too.

La le lu, in front of the bed, there are two shoes, and they are just as tired. Now go to rest.

Then the Sandman comes too, quietly sneaking through the house, looking for the most beautiful one from his dreams for you.

La le lu, only the man in the moon watches when the little babies are sleeping. That's why you sleep too."

"Is there an official translation of this somewhere?" He truly felt sleepy and content and calm now.

She giggled, slightly embarrassed. "I don't know. I made this up some time ago while showering."

He wrapped his arms around her more tightly. "Quite good for something done impromptu." He was asleep before she could respond.

* * *

 **I had this planned out for a long time, but wanted to do the previous chapter first.**

 **[La Le Lu (Kinder Schlaflied von Heino Gaze) gesungen von Kathi und Andreas Weiß] This is the nicest version I found on Youtube.**

 *** Translation: Shit, damn it, Tami. What was that?**

 **Just to make it clear for everything I write in the future. 'Scheiße' literally means shit and if I think about the way I speak, it is used quite flexibly and often, in front of children as well and by pretty much every age and social group and class.**


End file.
